I am bi-racial -- my mother is white and my biological father is black, although my father is not a part of my life.
Recently, I had vague contact with a couple of people from my father's side of the family and it didn't turn out as I had expected.
I thought I was in a place where I could be impartial and non-judgmental but apparently not. Emotions I had buried long ago came bubbling to the surface and I found that my old feelings of hurt and abandonment had turned into anger. That really surprised me. I don't have room in my life for negative emotions like anger, especially since anger can easily fester into hatred.
My mom taught me to never hate because hatred does nothing to the other person but can destroy your own life. If anyone had the right to hate my father, it was my mother, but she never did. Not only that, she never said one bad thing about him. She just told me all the facts when I was old enough to ask. I have so much respect her for because of that and I recognize the inner strength it must have taken.
So, after an emotional whirlwind that lasted a couple of days and a lot of soul-searching, I can honestly say I am at at peace with my past, ready to close that particular door, and move forward into the future with my usual positive attitude.
And I owe it all to my mom.
So during this black history month, while I am taking the time to appreciate the black side of my heritage, I'm also taking the time to appreciate my white mother. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be the person I am am today!
Namaste, mom.
xo xo
Recently, I had vague contact with a couple of people from my father's side of the family and it didn't turn out as I had expected.
I thought I was in a place where I could be impartial and non-judgmental but apparently not. Emotions I had buried long ago came bubbling to the surface and I found that my old feelings of hurt and abandonment had turned into anger. That really surprised me. I don't have room in my life for negative emotions like anger, especially since anger can easily fester into hatred.
My mom taught me to never hate because hatred does nothing to the other person but can destroy your own life. If anyone had the right to hate my father, it was my mother, but she never did. Not only that, she never said one bad thing about him. She just told me all the facts when I was old enough to ask. I have so much respect her for because of that and I recognize the inner strength it must have taken.
So, after an emotional whirlwind that lasted a couple of days and a lot of soul-searching, I can honestly say I am at at peace with my past, ready to close that particular door, and move forward into the future with my usual positive attitude.
And I owe it all to my mom.
So during this black history month, while I am taking the time to appreciate the black side of my heritage, I'm also taking the time to appreciate my white mother. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be the person I am am today!
Namaste, mom.
xo xo
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