Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Porn stars and pedophiles

Tomorrow marks the end of Movember, the only thirty-day period in the entire year that is acceptable for a man to grow a mustache.

During this thirty-day period, women will smile in support of all the men out there who grew their 'staches for the occasion, but at the strike of midnight on the thirtieth day, we rescind our support.

Gentlemen, I'm gonna say it like it is:

I don't care who you are or what you do, I don't care if you're a hardbody with a 6-pack of abs or if you weigh 300lbs, I don't care if you're rich or poor, intelligent or stunned, if you are sporting ANY of the below mustaches, you look like a 70's porn star or a pedophile, and well, good luck getting laid.

Ask any woman and you will see that I speak the truth. As a matter of fact, look around you right now and if you see any women, ask them. Ask them if they think mustaches are cheesy.

See, told ya.

Yeah, there is a slight possibility that other than the 'stache, you could be the perfect catch. If that's the case, we might give you a chance, but know this -- you won't be meeting any of our friends and we won't be going out in public until we've managed to manipulate you into shaving the hideous thing off.

We'll use all sorts of excuses, too. It tickles too much, it's too scratchy, it's irritating to my sensitive skin, to just name a few.

But they're all LIES.

Tomorrow is December 1st, gentlemen, and Movember will be officially over. Let's all try and shave, huh?

Monday, November 29, 2010

Lettin' loose!

The HDP team attended Stunts Canada's Fortieth Anniversary Bash last Saturday night and did we ever let loose!

And we weren't the only ones, not by a long shot.

I could tell you how much fun the party was, but since a picture really does speak a thousand words, I'll let these tell the story.

What a night!

And when I woke up this morning... well, lunchtime actually... with a pounding headache, cotton mouth and gritty eyes, I remembered exactly why it is that I generally don't drink much.

It's something I've remembered ALL day.