Thursday, June 17, 2010

The art of wearing shoes...

And yes, gentlemen, (the ladies are already aware) shoe wearing is an art.

See, a girl can't just find a pair of shoes she likes and buy them -- even though us gals wish it were that easy, it isn't.

Before we buy them or even try them on, we must first analyze them and figure out which category they fit into.

And again to the gentlemen, yes, lady-shoes fall into different categories. Here they are:

Walking shoes -- you can wear these all day and still be comfortable.

Standing shoes
-- you can stand around in these for hours making them perfect for cocktail parties, but you can't walk very far.

Three hour shoes
-- you can do anything in these -- walk, stand, dance, you name it -- but only for three hours at a time. At the end of three hours, the comfortable factor stops working.

Sitting in the corner and looking cute shoes
-- the heels on these are generally really high and really slim, so you need to either use the valet service, or get dropped off in front of your location because no way in hell you can walk the few blocks from where you parked. No way you can stand for long periods, either. You can, however, easily make it to your seat and back out again, later.

Dancing shoes
-- you can dance all night.

"My feet hurt" shoes
-- these one's hurt your feet no matter what you do, but they're so cute, you wear them anyway and get drunk so you don't feel the pain.

Bedroom shoes
-- these one's are self-explanatory. (and if they are not, then I think I may feel sad for you... )

Trick shoes
-- you can look at a pair of these and think they'll be appropriate as standing shoes, but then you try them on and realize they tricked you. They aren't standing shoes, but "sitting in the corner and looking cute" shoes, so now you have to decide whether the price is worth it and whether you have any outfits to go with them in their new category.

Ah, shoes. Gotta love shoes! Wondering why I have shoes on my mind?

Huh? Are you?

Yup, you guessed it! Mama's got a new pair of shoes. Earlier today, these little beauties followed me home.



Can we all please take a moment and appreciate how frickn' HOT these shoes are...?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ah... thank you. I feel the love.

Anyhow, to answer your question (yes, I know you are asking it in your mind, right now), these ones fall into the three hour category.

xo

No comments: